Heartbreak is as old as man. However, the rate at which heartbreaks occur can vary significantly from one country to another. For example, recent research by YouGov shows that Americans are 18% times more likely to have a heartbreak than the British. Also, the outbreaks from COVID-19 seem to have made things worse. A legal contract creation website recorded a 34% rise in the sale of basic divorce agreements.
Different people react differently to heartbreak. From turning violent to slipping into depression, or crying their hearts out, the reaction can differ from one person to another. There is another group that will engage in the uncanny behavior of stalking their partner on social media.
While everyone agrees that getting over heartbreak is not so easy, there are steps you can take to hasten your recovery if you find yourself in this unfortunate situation.
10 Tips To Get Over A Heartbreak
#1. Take Time To Feel Every Feeling
Heartbreak comes with many other feelings. While you might feel relief, especially from a toxic relationship, it is most common to experience disempowering feelings like sadness, grief or confusion. Going through every feeling makes you better. It is as weird as the idea that crying might have psychological or physical benefits.
In the first place, taking time to feel every feeling involves carefully identifying them. This lets you figure out your true feelings and avoid misinterpretations. The next step is acknowledging these true feelings. Tell yourself that you are indeed angry and sad about the breakup if you are. Accept the feelings for what they are. This might turn out more difficult than you think. However, it puts you in a good position for the next step which involves managing your feelings.
#2. Have Honest Thoughts About The Situation
Honesty should be everyone’s watchword. The benefits of honesty importantly include mental and emotional well-being. Another benefit is that it will help you accurately answer questions such as, “Did you try your very best to keep the relationship afloat?”, “Was the relationship toxic to you or your partner?”, “Is it really time to let go or do you want to hold out some hope?”. Having honest thoughts about your breakup will help you decide what moves to take next, whether to grow old waiting for your previous partner or hope for someone better.
#3. Accept That The Relationship Has Ended
Based on how honest your honest thoughts were, you will now either be at a standstill or toughen up by acknowledging and understanding that the relationship has ended. Experts suggest that accepting a difficult event or negative emotion can be linked to some benefits. Among other things, this includes a positive response to stressors and generally healthier life.
#4. Take Out Anything That Could Bring Back Memories
Erasing the memories of a past love is an often difficult yet necessary part of getting over a breakup. This is partly because some love stories become irreplaceable parts of our own story. Another reason is that our brains might never really forget. While some suggest making new memories, never indulge in regretful thoughts. It helps you and your ex heal faster and avoid hurting each other over and over again. Taking out framed pictures, deleting texts or email messages, and discarding letters or notes might also help you get over that breakup quickly.
#5. Express Forgiveness
Forgiveness helps you as much as it helps the other person. But, what is forgiveness really about? It is the conscious effort of giving up hurtful thoughts, attitudes, and desires. However, this doesn’t mean forgetting the offense itself. Psychologically speaking, forgiveness can be enhanced by individual traits or predispositions. It is also a character strength that can reduce depression, promote relationships and ultimately lead to well-being. This makes it even more necessary in a breakup situation.
#6. Rebuild Your Self Esteem
If your ex walked out of the relationship, you might need a refuel for your self-esteem. That breakup scenario can make you feel unattractive or incapable of handling a relationship. To avoid being weighed down for the rest of your life, build your self-esteem. It will help you make decisions you are confident about and look ahead to a great relationship sometime soon or later in the future.
#7. Take A Vacation
A trip to somewhere new and exciting will clear your mind and might even create a scene for a new relationship. It also gives you time to heal from a breakup. Vacations have profound psychological and health benefits. You can brave a solo vacation or find friends who are willing to take an adventure with you to keep your mind on the bright side.
#8. Do Exercise
Whether for general fitness or more specific purposes, exercises keep the body and mind alive. Active and regular exercises have been linked to happiness, reduced stress, and increased self-esteem. This makes it an important step in getting over a heartbreak quickly since it engages your mind and puts you in a great physical shape for someone new. In addition to this, yoga and meditation activities are very useful ways of exercising.
#9. Avoid a Rebound
Here are the signs that you are in a rebound relationship. This is a situation you desperately want to avoid. The potential harm that can come from a rebound relationship begins in an emotional form and can quickly turn physical. In order not to hurt yourself, your ex, or your new partner, be sure that you have totally gotten over your previous relationship before starting something new with someone different.
#10. Go for Therapy
If everything else doesn’t work, go for relationship therapy. Here are 13 questions that might help ease the process. For some people, this might be the only working solution, thanks to their strong faith in therapists. It is also good to mention that the effectiveness of this step might surpass that of every other step listed here because having someone to coach you usually tends to produce better results.
It is important to point out that alcohol and other illicit substances are only temporary solutions. Once the effect of the substance wears out your problem will resurface. The tips above will definitely help you to get over heartbreak quickly. However, if you lack the discipline and willpower to go through all the steps, seeking the help of a therapist is your best bet. No matter what you are going through, always know that the future is always brighter. Have you ever had a heartbreak before? Tell us how you overcame the pain.