🤔🙄Have African women really forgotten their place in the home😲?🔥

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  • 🤔🙄Have African women really forgotten their place in the home😲?🔥

    Posted by Boma on February 3, 2022 at 11:45 pm

    🤔”Some people argue that divorce rates are getting high in African communities because women have forgotten their place and are not allowing men to head households. Do you agree?”😲🔥

    Belle replied 2 months, 1 week ago 7 Members · 21 Replies
  • 21 Replies
  • Avatar of Etonde Eliot

    Etonde Eliot

    Member
    February 4, 2022 at 3:18 pm
    Mgeni Level

    Divorce rates are getting high because some partners aren’t ready for the commitment it comes with,men have become extremely selfish destroyons and women hv learnt to walk away from abusive and toxic relationships .

    Women know where their place are,we just don’t want the abuse and toxicity it comes with it

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 4, 2022 at 3:25 pm
      Mgeni Level

      oh my God this is such a burning reply.🔥 Does this mean that women were blind to these issues( the toxic relationships and the abuse from men) in the past years not to see it or were they suppressed to become voiceless? i have recently read some posts from African women who are speaking up about the challenges, abuse, violence they go through in their homes. What then is causing these women to speak up now that they were not doing before? Also does this mean the place of a woman in the home has been completely misunderstood?

    • Avatar of Belle

      Belle

      Member
      February 4, 2022 at 5:06 pm
      Silver Level

      I agree. However, aren’t there times when some women use their new found independence to belittle the men in their lives? I think many men struggle with the modern woman and do not know where they fit in any more and sometimes some women do not make it easy.

      • Avatar of Boma

        Boma

        Organizer
        February 5, 2022 at 6:08 am
        Mgeni Level

        🤩what a powerful statement. Women use their new found independence to belittle men.

  • Avatar of Etonde Eliot

    Etonde Eliot

    Member
    February 4, 2022 at 3:29 pm
    Mgeni Level

    Patriarchial systems have always relegate a woman to accept what’s is man throws at her because he’s the head and accept whatever gives her as privilege. An abusive partner has good days and in those good days she thinks he has change and the circle continues.

    Nowadays there’s a lot of marriage pressure in girls.Most rush in without double checking the red flags and when they get stretched and can no longer take it,they move.

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 4, 2022 at 3:38 pm
      Mgeni Level

      Wow you are on fire🔥 i am burning already. so what is the solution to this misconception according to your clearly articulated points. How should African women step out of the dilemma of abuse in their homes to curb the divorce rates?

  • Avatar of Etonde Eliot

    Etonde Eliot

    Member
    February 4, 2022 at 3:47 pm
    Mgeni Level

    Women have to be honest with themselves and not ignore red flags.

    -women have to stand by women who are survivors of abusive relationships/marriages rather thAn bash them

    -society has to understand that men as well as women have to be emotionally,mentally healthy and compatible before tying the nots

    – and also understand that it takes 2 to build a healthy marriage,it takes 2 to build a healthy society

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 4, 2022 at 3:59 pm
      Mgeni Level

      woww i am picking out some very important points from your contribution.

      Women have to be honest with themselves

      Women don’t have to ignore the red flags

      stand by women who are survivors etc

    • Avatar of Belle

      Belle

      Member
      February 4, 2022 at 4:57 pm
      Silver Level

      I could not agree more. Women have had to settle for the shortest end of the stick in relationships from the very start.

      I do think however that a relationship is about mutual respect and there has to be roles for any relationship to thrive. I do not think divorce rates are higher because of women. I think they are higher because a woman’s role has evolved and so both men and women need to redefine what it means in a relationship.

      Trying to fit a woman into a box is not going to end well for any relationship.

      • Avatar of Boma

        Boma

        Organizer
        February 4, 2022 at 5:15 pm
        Mgeni Level

        Haha this is an interesting yet thought provoking response. ” trying to fit a woman in to a box is not going to end well for any relationship” How do we change then the mindsets of women who actually love the box they have been put in. Some women think and teach their children that a woman should bear all forms of turmoil for their home and call it the gift of womanhood. How can such women get out of the box when they refuse to agree they are in a box?

      • Avatar of Boma

        Boma

        Organizer
        February 4, 2022 at 5:18 pm
        Mgeni Level

        I love the point where you said every man or woman needs to redefine their different roles in every relationship.🤩

  • Avatar of Anthony

    Anthony

    Member
    February 4, 2022 at 5:39 pm
    Mgeni Level

    I can’t say that women should be cornered or reduced to a specific role in the home. I believe a relationship is a 50-50 thing. However, in the past, there was a division of labor where the men go out to provide (Some back this up with Bible passages) while the women stayed back to take care of the home.

    However, our present-day economy doesn’t support that system anymore. In a family now, both parents often have to work to keep up with the bill. Trouble usually starts when one party feels like they are doing more than the other. For example, when the woman has to work and earn money but still comes back to take care of the home.

    However, while women seem to have evolved, some African men still hate the idea of being questioned or corrected by a woman (even if it is their wife).

    Nevertheless, I also think most African women tend to be bossy when they start earning more than their husbands. The bottom line is that the high rate of divorce is multifaceted and cant be pinned to a single factor and both parties are equally guilty.

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 4, 2022 at 6:48 pm
      Mgeni Level

      This is good insight. you have made a great point here🤩 Does this mean that the issue here is not women not knowing their place in their homes, but comparison between a man and a woman?

      on your point of women who tend to be bossy when they are earning more than their husbands, could we say this is the reason why some men say women have forgotten their place in their homes?

      • Avatar of Anthony

        Anthony

        Member
        February 4, 2022 at 7:07 pm
        Mgeni Level

        Exactly @Boma-Miranda-Emmira. We live in a society that overindulges in unhealthy comparison. If you keep looking for anything, sooner or later you will find it.

        • Avatar of Boma

          Boma

          Organizer
          February 5, 2022 at 6:00 am
          Mgeni Level

          🔥 Wow a society that indulges in unhealthy comparison. which means there is more to the increase rates of divorce than the woman forgetting her place.

  • Avatar of Simon

    Simon

    Member
    February 4, 2022 at 6:18 pm
    Mgeni Level

    It’s not easy for two to become one. A lot of adjustment is required. Nevertheless, that’s the only way forward to remain together. It calls for willingness sometime to give up some stuff that you regarded to be true in order to accommodate the other person.

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 4, 2022 at 6:53 pm
      Mgeni Level

      Awesome, it has to do with both parties reconciling their differences. But then who always gets left with no choice but to let go their dreams, their own passions for the sake of the home? someone makes the highest sacrifice for that. Most women will say they gave up their education, job, business just to take care of their home. Who gets to make the most sacrifice?

  • Avatar of Ngong

    Ngong

    Member
    February 5, 2022 at 6:04 am
    Mgeni Level

    In the African culture most marriages that have strived has been because each spouse understood their place and responsibility in the home….

    I stand for the fact that the best way a woman can show love to their husband is TO HONOUR HIM and let him head the home while the best way for a man to express love to his wife is to be responsible over his family and be a defender for the family as well as a shoulder for his wife’s emotional needs… If an African woman doesn’t allow a man to head her home he has tempered with his ego, self respect and sense of responsibility … Men are wired to be these and more…. I agree to that fact…. Most African women are irrationally picking up western vultures and breaking their homes.

    The man is the great of the family!

    • Avatar of Boma

      Boma

      Organizer
      February 5, 2022 at 6:20 am
      Mgeni Level

      🔥 This is getting hotter. Based on the statement that a woman should honor the husband by letting him head the home. But then, what is the definition of heading the home? What does heading the home really look like?

    • Avatar of Belle

      Belle

      Member
      March 8, 2022 at 6:01 am
      Silver Level

      You make good points here. I do wonder though, have African men not abused the assumed responsibility of ‘head of household’?

      Times have changed and old roles have to adjust. How does a woman take on the shared responsibility of generating income for the family and still maintain all her own responsibilities? It’s not sustainable.

      Also, men over the centuries have in many cases handled the responsibility of head of household poorly. It just happens that women have now found their voice and independence and now know they don’t have to put up with it.

      Perhaps its not women who have forgotten their place. Could it be that men have forgotten what it means to be a man or have lost good mentors and in the process want the respect and spoils of old traditions without making the effort to adapt as well to a woman who can have a voice and who can no longer be put into a narrow box?

  • Avatar of Ateghe Fabrice Nyambi

    Ateghe Fabrice Nyambi

    Member
    February 21, 2022 at 5:22 pm
    Mgeni Level

    Well…..to an extent I’ll accept the fact that there’s an increase in divorce rates in the Afro community……but won’t say totally this is solely caused by the above assertion…. Culturally and biblically….it’s assumed that the African woman is an assistant to the man who heads the house but due to the fight against gender equality women now our day think they can be domineering enough to do all men are supposed to do and considering that a team can’t have 2heads….the marriage is bound to crumble…

    Also…the comming in of the laiser fait lifestyle which is mostly practiced by the western world…. cheating, seductive dressing amongst the married is now normal…morality rates too are dropping…leading to divorces

    Furthermore….match making which is mostly practiced in Africa here is another cause …..this is so as when this couple goes into marriage and findout they can’t cope with it they just have to splitWell…..to an extent I’ll accept the fact that there’s an increase in divorce rates in the Afro community……but won’t say totally this is solely caused by the above assertion…. Culturally and biblically….it’s assumed that the African woman is an assistant to the man who heads the house but due to the fight against gender equality women now our day think they can be domineering enough to do all men are supposed to do and considering that a team can’t have 2heads….the marriage is bound to crumble…

    Also…the comming in of the laiser fait lifestyle which is mostly practiced by the western world…. cheating, seductive dressing amongst the married is now normal…morality rates too are dropping…leading to divorces

    Furthermore….match making which is mostly practiced in Africa here is another cause …..this is so as when this couple goes into marriage and findout they can’t cope with it they just have to split it

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